Top 5 Characters – The Wire, Season 3

I think Season 3 actually has the most characters, as it adds the political characters, Marlo’s people, Bunny Colvin, and Cuddy to the already staggering array.  So there are a lot of choices for my favorites.

5. Avon Barksdale

Out of prison, but dealing with a new set of challenges. His pride got the better of him.

4. Bunk

If only for the scene where he calls out Omar and his “code”.

3. Freamon

Had some great conflict with McNulty, in addition to his typical detecting excellence.

2. Rawls

Several tremendous scenes in the Comstat meetings.

1. Stringer Bell

Desperate to establish himself as a legitimate businessman, the mistakes he made in the drugworld finally catch up with him.

Top 5 Seinfeld Episodes

This is a tough one, especially after the first two.

5. The Opposite

There were probably funnier episodes that could’ve taken this spot, but this was just a brilliant season finale. Having Elaine’s life fall apart while George’s turned around provided plenty of comedy while also setting up completely new dynamics for the next season.

4. The Little Kicks

Two words: Elaine dancing.

3. The Boyfriend

The hour-long Keith Hernandez show was full of hilarity, including the classic “…and you want to be my latex salesman” line. Also, the “JFK” parody nearly killed me.

2. The Chinese Restaurant

This was one of the early episodes that really sent the show down a new path for sitcoms. Set in real time, it was like a mini-version of “24″…though I think Jack Bauer would’ve gotten a table.

1. The Alternate Side

The first half of this episode is full of so many great jokes that it’s almost unbelievable. “Who put the cookies in his mouth? You’re not supposed to do that.”

Top 5 Survivor Contestants

In honor of the recently-ended 16th season of Survivor, I thought I’d rank my favorite players. And while we’ here, I can’t believe how this season played out. For second season in a row, Amanda totally botched the final few Tribal Councils by getting all weepy and trying to be everyone’s best friend. She is a fantastic player, but just falls apart at the end…the Chris Webber of Survivor.

5. Earl (Fiji)

I had a tough time with this 5th spot. Earl probably ended up here because his season was so recent. But he seemed like a nice guy and played a great game.

4. Stephenie (Palau and Guatemala)

A fearsome competitor. So good at swimming, so bad at puzzles. I think she and her tribes hold the all-time record for “most challenges blown at the end despite having a big lead”.

3. Yul (Cook Islands)

The leader of the most likable alliance in the show’s history: Yul, Ozzy, Beckie, and Sundra. They were outnumbered 8-4 and somehow managed to wipe out the other 8 consecutively. He was also able to use the hidden immunity idol to flip the whole game rather than save himself for one week. Fantastic.

2. Michelle (Fiji)

Outrageously screwed over by a tribal switch in which it was in both tribes’ best interests to lose the Immunity Challenge. She seemed to be having a great time and even provided a hilarious fall in the background of the action during a challenge.

1. Boston Rob (Marquesas and All-Stars)

Probably not the most likable, but delivered an immensely entertaining performance in the All-Stars season. Dominated challenges, dominated strategy, even dominated another tribe’s vote. Contrary to Amanda’s comment in the last episode, he (and others, like Tom Westman) is a better all-around player than Ozzy, who got voted out without playing his Immunity Idol and was basically just good (VERY GOOD) at challenges.

Top 5 Friday Night Lights Characters

I’m ranking these characters based on how much entertainment they provided over the first two seasons. Thankfully, there will be at least one more season to evaluate.

5. Tyra Collette - Despite her association with the ridiculous “stalker” storyline, Tyra earns a spot.

4. Matt Saracen – Mike Penney and I used to have a debate about who was the better character: Saracen or Riggins. During Season One I definitely favored Saracen, Season Two proved Mr. Penney correct.

3. Coach Taylor – His harried, overwhelmed attitude around this wife and daughter is absolutely priceless.

2. Mrs. Taylor – I had a tough time deciding which Taylor parent to put in front. Tami was better in Season One, Eric in Season Two. Since Season One was better, I went with the Mrs. Taylor. Don’t mess with Tami!

1. Tim Riggins – He pretty much carried Season Two on his back. That scene where he’s working at the Gymnastics Meet and is getting totally into it…that kills me everty time. Every single time.

 

Top 5 Television Comedies

The comedy category turned out to be easier than I expected. The only real competition was for the Number 5 spot. I went with Cheers because I felt it was the best of the late 80s/early 90s shows (Cosby, Family Ties, Night Court, etc) and something from that era needed to be included

5. Cheers

Did an excellent job of weaving new characters (Woody, Frasier, Rebecca) into the mix without throwing off the show dynamics too much.

4. Arrested Development

Riotously funny. You could watch the same episode 5 times and still find new jokes. Plus, nobody has ever made better use of the censoring “bleeps”.

3. The Office (U.S. version)

Maybe not as funny as Arrested Development, but I enjoy watching it more. Has a tremendously deep and funny cast.

2. Sports Night

This could be considered a drama, but it was certainly quite funny and only 30 minutes long. So I’m putting it here.

1. Seinfeld

The perfect blend of Jerry Seinfeld’s observational humor and Larry David’s psychosis.

Top 5 Scenes – The Wire, Season 1

In general, I tried to stay away from the main climactic scenes of the season (Greggs undercover, Wallace in the vacant, etc.) to add some variety to the list. [SPOILERS AHEAD]

5. The Footchase (Episode 7)

When the squad busts the re-up with Stinkum and his runner and they chase the kid into the lowrise courtyard. First of all, I love a good footchase. I’ll take one over a car chase pretty much any day of the week. Then you have Bodie getting in Herc’s way as those two continue their rivalry. And best of all, when the runner disappears around a corner and then has to come back the other way because Kima is sprinting after him with one of those huge police batons. Priceless.

4. Jimmy and Bunk Figure Out The Apartment Murder (Episode 4)

An entire scene with expletives as the only dialogue, yet you can follow it perfectly.

3. Stringer and Bodie Discuss Wallace (Episode 12)

So much is said without actually being said, as the audience realizes what is going down. Very menacing.

2. Rawls and McNulty After The Shooting (Episode 11)

Rawls tears into Jimmy in a brutally honest and generous tirade.

1. The Extended Bird Interrogation (Episode 7)

This should maybe count as more than one scene, but I don’t care. Landsman, Kima, and Daniels question Bird, while Bunk and Jimmy talk with Omar outside the room. I love when Daniels tells Jimmy to go in and make sure nothing happens…not to protect Kima, but Bird. I love when Landsman, Kima, and Daniels beat the s%#t out of him because you don’t really think of those three as a “team”, but the cops are the cops. And I love the Omar and Bunk’s surreal conversation, which ends with Omar saying something like “Wow, Bird really brings it out in people” as he listens to the brutality.

(So I can’t believe I did five characters and five scenes from Season 1, without mentioning Freamon.)

Top 5 ‘Seinfeld’ Quotes

This is the first list completed by request. Here you go, Eppy.

5. Various Characters, The Alternate Side

“These pretzels are making me thirsty!”

4. Jerry Seinfeld, The Alternate Side

Rental Car Agent: Would you like insurance?
Jerry: Yeah, give me the insurance. Because I’m gonna beat the hell out of this car.

3. Elaine, Jerry, and George, The Chinese Restaurant

Elaine: “It’s not fair that people are seated first-come, first-serve. It should be based on who’s hungriest. I feel like just walking over there and taking some food off somebody’s plate.”
Jerry: “I’ll tell you what, there’s fifty bucks in it for you if you do it.”
Elaine: “What do you mean?”
Jerry: “You walk over to that table, you pick up an eggroll, you don’t say anything. You eat it, say thank you very much, wipe your mouth, walk away, I give you fifty bucks.”
Elaine: “What are they gonna do?”
Jerry: “They won’t do anything. In fact, you’ll be giving them a story to tell for the rest of their lives.”
Elaine: “Fifty bucks? You’ll give me fifty bucks?”
Jerry: “Fifty bucks. That table over there. The three couples.”
Elaine: “Okay, I don’t want to go over there and do it and then come back here and find out there was some little loophole, like I didn’t put mustard on it.”
Jerry: “No, no tricks.”
Elaine: “Should I do it George?”
George: “For fifty bucks? I’d put my face in their soup and blow!” 

2. Kramer, The Fire

Jerry: “You kept making all the stops? “
Kramer: “Well, people kept ringing the bell!”

1. George Costanza, The Red Dot

Mr. Lippman: “It’s come to my attention that you and the cleaning woman have engaged in sexual intercourse on the desk in your office. Is that correct? “
George: “Who said that? “
Mr. Lippman: “She did.”
George: [pause] “Was that wrong? Should I not have done that? I tell you, I gotta plead ignorance on this thing, because if anyone had said anything to me at all when I first started here that that sort of thing is frowned upon… “

Top 5 Characters – The Wire, Season 1

So I’ve started my second trip through “The Wire” and just completed the first season. I figure now is a good time to put together some Season 1 Top 5 Lists. We’ll start with the characters. I’m trying not to think about what happens with the characters in future seasons. [ALERT - POTENTIAL SPOILERS AHEAD]

5. Wee-Bey

The first time I watched, I think he sort of blended in as just one of Barksdale’s guys, at least for most of the season. I really enjoyed him the second time around. Very entertaining to listen to him talk…his attitude is the same whether discussing going to the hospital for a gunshot wound or putting too much hot sauce on his sandwich.

4. Daniels

His confrontations with McNulty, Burrell, and others are terrific. And it’s great to watch Daniels make the transition from doing whatever Burrell asks to telling him basically to go f#%k himself.

3. D’Angelo

Trapped in the game by his family ties and in way over his head. “Where’s Wallace at?!?”

2. Stringer

The intellectual force behind Barksdale’s crew. Coldly calculating and all business, he steals every scene he’s in.

1. Greggs

The sequence when she goes undercover is as intense as any I’ve ever seen. And it’s because she’s so damn likable that the other characters, and the viewers, are terrified something is going to happen to her.

Top 5 Television Dramas

I watch a lot of television. Some might say too much. I would not…well, maybe a little. One of the tough things with this list is how to deal with shows that had variable quality over the course of their run. We’ll see what happens, though.

5. ER

It’s easy to forget how good this show was for the first half of its run. There are a lot of arguments for when it went downhill; I think Mark Greene’s “bathroom incident” was the tipping point. I stopped watching when Dr. Romano stopped having two arms.

4. Lost

I hope I like it as much when all is said and done. For now, I’m enjoying the hell out of the ride.

3. The Sopranos

A tough call over “Lost”, but its humor gives it the edge. I really liked the finale, as long as it wasn’t a setup for a movie.

2. The West Wing

Lots of variability with this one. Here’s my breakdown:

• Seasons 1/2 – Amazing.

• Seasons 3/4 – Very, very good with frequent returns to the excellent of those first two years.

• Seasons 5/6 – Sustained mediocrity with intermittent crappiness.

• Season 7 – A surprising rebound back to “very good”.

Overall, the first four seasons are good enough to hold down the number two spot.

1. The Wire

Couldn’t be an easier decision. 60 hours of pure excellence. “All the pieces matter.”