Top 5 Friday Night Lights Characters

I’m ranking these characters based on how much entertainment they provided over the first two seasons. Thankfully, there will be at least one more season to evaluate.

5. Tyra Collette - Despite her association with the ridiculous “stalker” storyline, Tyra earns a spot.

4. Matt Saracen – Mike Penney and I used to have a debate about who was the better character: Saracen or Riggins. During Season One I definitely favored Saracen, Season Two proved Mr. Penney correct.

3. Coach Taylor – His harried, overwhelmed attitude around this wife and daughter is absolutely priceless.

2. Mrs. Taylor – I had a tough time deciding which Taylor parent to put in front. Tami was better in Season One, Eric in Season Two. Since Season One was better, I went with the Mrs. Taylor. Don’t mess with Tami!

1. Tim Riggins – He pretty much carried Season Two on his back. That scene where he’s working at the Gymnastics Meet and is getting totally into it…that kills me everty time. Every single time.

 

Top 5 Movies I Like Way Too Much

Everyone has movies that they know are bad and/or cheesey, but always enjoy watching anyway. These are mine.

5. Rocky 4

Delightfully bad. Rocky’s battle to end the Cold War is half classic one-liners and half musical montage. What more could you want?

4. Overboard

Rich and obnoxious Goldie Hawn falls overboard (get it??) and loses her memory. So Kurt Russell basically kidnaps her and tricks into being his wife and the mother of his four boys. Hijinx ensue.

3. On Deadly Ground

I couldn’t put a list like this together without Steven Seagal, who was both the star and director of this epic. Two staples of any Seagal movie that were particularly enjoyable in this one:

• The first appearance of Stevie’s character is accompanied by the type of dramatic music usually reserved for religious miracles.
• The bad guys “find” his resume and despondently list off his military accomplishments. (“He’s an expert in weapons and tactics?!?!”, “He has 7 bronze stars!??”, “He conquered Portugal with a broken collarbone?!??”)

2. Feds

A random action-comedy from the late 80s, in which Rebecca DeMornay and Mary Gross play FBI trainees. I watched this all the time when I was a kid…yeah, I have no idea either.

1. Footloose

I love this movie.  I love the tractor game of chicken. I love the pure 80’s soundtrack. I love how Ren kicks the door of his car shut after politely opening it up for his date. I love when he goes to the empty barn and blows off steam with an elaborate combination of dancing and gymnastics. I love when Chuck Cranston screams, “I treated you decent!!” And I love how that kid at the prom has apparently been practicing the “robot” in secret for years, waiting until just this moment.

Top 5 Television Comedies

The comedy category turned out to be easier than I expected. The only real competition was for the Number 5 spot. I went with Cheers because I felt it was the best of the late 80s/early 90s shows (Cosby, Family Ties, Night Court, etc) and something from that era needed to be included

5. Cheers

Did an excellent job of weaving new characters (Woody, Frasier, Rebecca) into the mix without throwing off the show dynamics too much.

4. Arrested Development

Riotously funny. You could watch the same episode 5 times and still find new jokes. Plus, nobody has ever made better use of the censoring “bleeps”.

3. The Office (U.S. version)

Maybe not as funny as Arrested Development, but I enjoy watching it more. Has a tremendously deep and funny cast.

2. Sports Night

This could be considered a drama, but it was certainly quite funny and only 30 minutes long. So I’m putting it here.

1. Seinfeld

The perfect blend of Jerry Seinfeld’s observational humor and Larry David’s psychosis.

Top 5 Non-Boston Athletes To Watch

I’m ranking these guys on pure entertainment when they were at their prime. It’s a little weird that there are no baseball players, but nobody really stood as being that electrifying. (Pedro would be there, but the “non-Boston” limitation applies.)

5. Andre Agassi

Much more entertaining that most of the serve-and-volley men’s players. Amazing groundstrokes.

4. Tiger Woods

Pure dominance.

3. Barry Sanders

Some of sickest moves ever, including an absolute pantsing of a Patriot defensive back. What was that guy’s name?

2. Allen Iverson

A little man playing among giants. He may not like to practice (PRACTICE?!?), but he is fearless during the games.

1. Michael Vick

What a waste.

Top 5 Scenes – The Wire, Season 1

In general, I tried to stay away from the main climactic scenes of the season (Greggs undercover, Wallace in the vacant, etc.) to add some variety to the list. [SPOILERS AHEAD]

5. The Footchase (Episode 7)

When the squad busts the re-up with Stinkum and his runner and they chase the kid into the lowrise courtyard. First of all, I love a good footchase. I’ll take one over a car chase pretty much any day of the week. Then you have Bodie getting in Herc’s way as those two continue their rivalry. And best of all, when the runner disappears around a corner and then has to come back the other way because Kima is sprinting after him with one of those huge police batons. Priceless.

4. Jimmy and Bunk Figure Out The Apartment Murder (Episode 4)

An entire scene with expletives as the only dialogue, yet you can follow it perfectly.

3. Stringer and Bodie Discuss Wallace (Episode 12)

So much is said without actually being said, as the audience realizes what is going down. Very menacing.

2. Rawls and McNulty After The Shooting (Episode 11)

Rawls tears into Jimmy in a brutally honest and generous tirade.

1. The Extended Bird Interrogation (Episode 7)

This should maybe count as more than one scene, but I don’t care. Landsman, Kima, and Daniels question Bird, while Bunk and Jimmy talk with Omar outside the room. I love when Daniels tells Jimmy to go in and make sure nothing happens…not to protect Kima, but Bird. I love when Landsman, Kima, and Daniels beat the s%#t out of him because you don’t really think of those three as a “team”, but the cops are the cops. And I love the Omar and Bunk’s surreal conversation, which ends with Omar saying something like “Wow, Bird really brings it out in people” as he listens to the brutality.

(So I can’t believe I did five characters and five scenes from Season 1, without mentioning Freamon.)

Top 5 Snack Foods

This list does not include frozen products. I can’t really think of anything else to add, so here goes:

5. Doritos

Either original or Cool Ranch, just a tremendous chip. The big drawback is that you’re forced to continue “enjoying” them for hours after you actually stop eating.

4. Famous Amos “Mini” Cookies

Along with Twix, this is my go-to Vending Machine selection.

3. Goldfish

Plop that big gallon container down next to you and enjoy.

2. Wheat Thins

Good with cheese. Good with peanut butter. Good on their own. Good.

1. Fig Newtons

Not the other Newtons. Just the fig.

Top 5 “Non-Essential” Springsteen Songs

I wanted to make a list of my favorite “obscure” Springsteen songs, so I needed a definitive way to establish which to consider. So, if a song is on Springsteen’s “Essential” collection or his Greatest Hits album, then it is ineligible. Here goes the first Springsteen list.

5. I’m Goin’ Down

We listened to this all the time in college. And for good reason.

4. Backstreets

Inspiration for one of my first Fantasy team names: the “Duke Street Kings”. It is also one of the great running songs of all time. (Hmm…sounds like another good list.)

3. Candy’s Room

I always enjoy a song that “kicks in” at some point. And this one does it twice, in only three minutes.

2. No Surrender

Probably the most well-known of the five. Excellent in its conventional fast version, but also as a slower acoustic ditty (as on the “Live 75-85″ album).

1. Racing in the Street

There was an extended period of time when I would skip this one whenever I listened to the “Darkness” album. Well, not anymore.

(As it turns out, all five came from the “Big 3″ albums. I wasn’t expecting that. Maybe I should’ve restricted it to one song per album. Too late now. )

Top 5 Ways Other Drivers Annoy Me

I can generally tolerate people who drive very aggressively or very timidly. I tend to get most annoyed with people who slow me down, for no real benefit of their own. If some idiot jumps out in front of me at an intersection, at least I can see the motivation for him. That is not the case with some of these.

5. The Toll-Booth Dally

The line of cars to pay the toll or parking fee is significant, but when the car in front of you pulls up to the booth, they spend 45 seconds searching for their wallet, the ticket, or who knows what else. “Oh, you need money from me? I thought those other cars in front of me were just stopping to say good-bye.”

4. The Highway Line Jump

On the highway, I like to keep a bigger-than-average gap between my car and the one in front of me. To some people, that’s a freaking invitation to jump into the middle lane and cut back into that space. Congratulations, you’re now 25 feet closer to your destination and going the same damn speed as before.

3. Hurry Up And Wait

There’s a line of cars waiting at a red light. You’re trying to get through that line to pull into a parking lot. But there’s always that moron who just has to pull right up to the car in front of him instead of leaving 10 feet for you to pull through.

2. “Yield Must Mean Stop”

When you’re getting on the highway, you don’t need to execute a complete stop. It’s a lot harder to merge into highway traffic when you’re going 8 miles per hour. Plus, it’s a great way to get rear-ended.

1. Taking A Left From The Middle Of The F’ing Road

You’re driving along a town road, minding your own business, when the car in front of you decides to take a left. Of course, it’s a busy road and there are a bunch of cars coming from the other direction. No problem, you think, I’ll just slide around this car to the right and be on my merry way. Not so fast. Instead of drifting over to the left of the lane, this clown is just sitting in the middle of the damn road. People should get arrested for this.

Top 5 ‘Seinfeld’ Quotes

This is the first list completed by request. Here you go, Eppy.

5. Various Characters, The Alternate Side

“These pretzels are making me thirsty!”

4. Jerry Seinfeld, The Alternate Side

Rental Car Agent: Would you like insurance?
Jerry: Yeah, give me the insurance. Because I’m gonna beat the hell out of this car.

3. Elaine, Jerry, and George, The Chinese Restaurant

Elaine: “It’s not fair that people are seated first-come, first-serve. It should be based on who’s hungriest. I feel like just walking over there and taking some food off somebody’s plate.”
Jerry: “I’ll tell you what, there’s fifty bucks in it for you if you do it.”
Elaine: “What do you mean?”
Jerry: “You walk over to that table, you pick up an eggroll, you don’t say anything. You eat it, say thank you very much, wipe your mouth, walk away, I give you fifty bucks.”
Elaine: “What are they gonna do?”
Jerry: “They won’t do anything. In fact, you’ll be giving them a story to tell for the rest of their lives.”
Elaine: “Fifty bucks? You’ll give me fifty bucks?”
Jerry: “Fifty bucks. That table over there. The three couples.”
Elaine: “Okay, I don’t want to go over there and do it and then come back here and find out there was some little loophole, like I didn’t put mustard on it.”
Jerry: “No, no tricks.”
Elaine: “Should I do it George?”
George: “For fifty bucks? I’d put my face in their soup and blow!” 

2. Kramer, The Fire

Jerry: “You kept making all the stops? “
Kramer: “Well, people kept ringing the bell!”

1. George Costanza, The Red Dot

Mr. Lippman: “It’s come to my attention that you and the cleaning woman have engaged in sexual intercourse on the desk in your office. Is that correct? “
George: “Who said that? “
Mr. Lippman: “She did.”
George: [pause] “Was that wrong? Should I not have done that? I tell you, I gotta plead ignorance on this thing, because if anyone had said anything to me at all when I first started here that that sort of thing is frowned upon… “

Top 5 Games I Saw In Person

 This list basically boils down to two categories: Xaverian and Red Sox games. I’ve only been to one or two Patriots games and the Celtics, until this year, haven’t provided the opportunity for many big games. I went to a bunch of UMass Basketball games, but I can’t think of any that were worthy of Top Five status.

If anybody can think of something I’m forgetting, let me know in the Comment section and I might update the list.

5 – Xaverian Volleyball vs Whitman-Hanson (I think), 1998

A few of my friends played volleyball in high school, and the games were very entertaining. During our senior year, they had a classic five-setter in the first round of the state tournament. They lost the first two sets and then stormed back to win. Plus, I think this was the game that JT had the ball bounce off his head to end the second set. Are they called “sets”? I think so.

4 – Red Sox vs Rockies, Game Two of the 2007 World Series

A tight pitcher’s duel between Schilling and Ubaldo Jimenez, with Okajima and Papelbon pitching lights out relief. From our seats in right field, we had a great view of Papelpon’s pick-off of Matt Holliday. The only downside to this game was the terrible crowd that refused to stand up and cheer when Schilling had two strikes on the batter. It’s always fun to get in shouting matches with strangers.

3 – Xaverian vs Everett, Massachusetts Division 1 Super Bowl, 1998

How many high school championship football games have game-winning 35-yard field goals on the last play of the game? I’m guessing not many.

2 – Xaverian vs Newton North, State Tournament Basketball, 1997

Just a wild finish. The game was in Newton and their fans were chanting “It’s all over” with a few seconds left and they were at the free throw line, ahead by two. But the kid missed his free throw and Brian Daoust drilled a game-winning three-pointer as the buzzer sounded. We stormed the court and everything.

1 – Red Sox vs Yankees, Game Five of the 2004 ALCS

I doubt this one will ever be topped, but I guess I hope it is. I remember it started around 5:00, while the NLCS game started three hours later. And that game was in the 9th by the time we left Fenway. The three innings of relief by Wakefield were absolutely incredible. That kind of tension cannot be healthy.